Biblical

No word in the English language is as amusing as “biblical.” You find it cropping up in movie and book reviews fairly frequently, especially whenever a new Cormac McCarthy novel comes out. It’s actually a dumb word to use since it implies a lot, but doesn’t actually say very much (kind of like “epic” or “romantic”). Oh, but what it implies…

Describe a book to me as biblical and I won’t think, “oh, so it must be full of messages about peace, love, and divine grace?”

No, I’ll instantly think, “oh, so there’s a lot of  horrific violence and incest? No thanks.”

In other words, it’s Old, not New testament. It’s Cain and Abel. Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot’s daughters. Egypt’s plagues. Joseph sold into slavery and Ishmael and Hagar cast out into the desert. It’s Isaac on the rock and Samson at the pillars. It’s the Angel of Death and the Fall of Man.

It’s a little depressing, really. Which is why I try to avoid things described as “biblical,” or “qu’rany,” or even “veda-esque.”

Instead, I look for books and movies derived from my favorite holy scripture, The Big Shinto Book of Lollipops and Rainbows Made of Puppies.

Amen.

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3 Comments

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  1. You’re just saying that because you hate America and want Obama to force everyone to be a socialist Muslim and only eat cabbage.

    Now, THAT would be biblical.

  2. I do love state-mandated cabbage consumption, that’s for sure.

  3. forget universal healthcare. universal lollipop coverage is clearly the way to go.

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